Thursday, November 24, 2005

Train of Emotion

I feel like running away from my so called life
And take the midnight train to storm out of town like the passing of the trade winds
Nobody will see me.
And even if I could see myself, my eyes feel like they are collapsing due to the weight of life.
Stopped in an intersection, a railroad crossing singing to me
With nothing to be seen for miles, I listen to the chimes.
Dare me to run blindly into the night like I have no hope?
Take my eyes away from me lord
And let me have a purely blind faith,
Faith from the soul, I track the land looking for you
When all along you were with me.
Let it be enough in my life to discover happiness.
Dare me to fall out of your life?
Unlock these feelings and words to me, hiding in the cabinet
The feelings that will let me drink from the river of salvation
For nothing is what it wants to seem
My expressions tell a tale, but my meaning is missing
I am sleeping through life,
Wake me up and give me meaning to my existence.
Show me.
Do you hear what I hear, or feel how I feel?
Do you cry like I cry?
In the bathtub, tears of a sort streaming down my face,
Because nobody can see me, nobody can hear me.
The tension slides like the water mixed with electric on these tracks of steel
The venom of the earth spits upon my face,
Dripping - stinging as if to pierce the skin
But I wash myself through the dancing drips on my body
And cleanse my soul purely white
I love the rain.
I want so much to blame someone else,
And to point the finger elsewhere
Because I thought that if everyone was pointing at you
That they would be able to do what they always do
See through me, past me.
The emotional map of my emotions
Like a stargazer looking to the sky
Shows me this mess of my existence
And how to plot my course
By searching out God, as my North star
Railroad crossings in the rain
Chimes to shake the earth and free me from my shackles.
My life of before was digging my grave
And dragging me down with my emotional downfall
Suffocating me until I could hardly breath under the muddy murky water
And when it becomes a chore to breath and you are gasping off every breath
It dawns on you like a new day.
I think its time to change.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2003

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