Only thing left

I finally fooled myself
Fooled myself into believing I could count on others
I have never blinded myself for my own satisfaction in such a time period ever before
And now I start to look at things with the eyes of a newborn
I gave up everything - for nothing.
Only the paperwork that was never finished.
And on the hottest of nights, the paper engulfs in a flame - a passion of life.
The moonlight will then peer into the water, with the man in the moon inside trying to release himself-
But somehow is caught and even with all his might - cannot move,
The moon peers the very same way the coyotes peer into a flock of sheep
And the waters only reply, are some drops - ripples in the water to sympathize
Leaving a distorted reflection of everything I never wanted to see.
I'm not leaving on a jet plane
But I will get out of the drivers seat I'm in.
And stand outside of my world, stepping into everyone else's reality.
Because the path that I'm on is self destructing before my own eyes
And I am the only one who will always be there for me.
Nobody ever cares enough to do anything about it
So I will use the help of my manufacturer
That has only been a phone call away, all this time
So please don't talk to me about friendships like you are some expert on my life
I've had enough lying and misconception to last me a long time
It left me with the obvious - what I had all long.
One best friend.
It bothers me that my other friends are too busy for me,
Lie to me and try to get out of doing things with me; I assure you pure happiness fills in me.
Thank you - all of you, for with your actions alone
I have made the biggest decision I have ever made in my life
Bigger than Portland?
Oh... Yeah.
I guess you could say that if you don't break down laughing at the intent of the question
I'll keep you guessing, so keep that grin on your face.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2003