Satisfaction of Life

When the rain in me subsides
And some new rays of life fall upon the skin
It makes me question everything.
Life is one crazy trip right after another.
You know what I want to do?
These voices in my head wont leave me alone
They keep saying my name
Crying for a response
Leaving me a few inches from insane
The voices tell so many stories of my life
Grinding on my senses, I grab the car keys and try to by pass the wire to my head
Disconnected from my thoughts, my emotion downloads from the digital world.
What am I going to do?
Like a bomb surgeon - what wire do I cut?
Like a dog in the wild, with no where to turn
Come into my world, and experience these senses..
I need an answer.
And I cant shy away from the microphone
Its an overhead call - my calling.
I don't want to wait for my number to be called
These mindless poems make more nonsense than sense.
And I turn to my music,
And I turn to my empty room, turning off the phone for silence.
Isn't it funny - how the future can change in the blink of an eye?
For my place in this world - my existence is always up in the air
Just tell me that you feel the same
There are just some feelings that you can't deny
So the world must go on, with or without me.
You made my life complete
Thank you for coming into my life,
Flooding me with your love - I drown in the incense of confusion
Pulling out from the drowsiness of sleep
I'm looking angry and have a reason to pull this trigger
Before I get bigger than the fate of mine - I unwind,
It all hangs in the twine, with father time.
Remembering those times we made love in the roses
And kissing in the peddles of the night
The time you had me crying over her shoulders
But now with each finger on each hand I pick up these boulders
And I sink my own ship.
As I sail into the world of mistake
I find myself swimming through the void..
Hearing those three uneasy waves in the heart,
It makes everything hurt so much deeper
It makes everything pump so much harder.
Oh take me back to the stars
And fool me blindly - because I only want to be with you.
And they say we are lucky
But somehow you stand there laughing at me
Get up the audacity and ask me why I can't stand to look at you
Even if it means life or death
It seems I can't pull myself to get through this
They wont stop chanting at me.
I can't pull myself to get through this
It is my semi-charmed kind of distance
It makes me thirsty for an answer,
Is it my return - or my final goodbye?

Poem by J.A.D. © 2003