Cold Rain

I can see clearly into the sky
Through the darkness of the night and beyond the stars.
Sitting in the silence of the night I feel the world around me
I sit, big eyed like a child who's eyes are fixed on insurmountable odds.
In the air I see my breath billow out like the thick fog of a morning shower
Reaching with my hands to the cracks of my car
To feel the warmth push out like a hot blanket.
The silence - disturbed by the sounds of a hot engine touching the brisk arctic air
Looking into the silver laced sky I sit and pray.
Closing my eyes I thank my Lord, for without Him
I am nothing.
Without him I have no purpose
With my Daddy we all are lost, in a world that is spinning out of control
I want to cry out in embarrassment for how clear everything is.
You always see through me, even if I front in a crowd of strangers
I'm as clear as a window to you.
Opening my eyes I am at peace
It is simply my minds elation to think of the distance and galaxy's that my prayers travel.
Fling wide your awesomeness and let it rain down like your abundance of grace shelters me from harm.
Getting up I began a walk down aside the road less traveled as it began to rain.
The rain is heavy with judgment
It is intense
Pushing me to the ground
I'm kneeling in the rain, blue lipped from the cold.
I can hear my heart pound in my ears and I clutch onto my heart..
Its all you ever wanted.
My mind Flashes back to a summer of innocence
Walking and dancing in the rain, happily soaked with the judgment of the world
I stop, stretching my arms with all my might so I can feel my muscles stretch out of place
Head up to the sky, screaming out and asking for a new life.
In an instant my mind jerked me back to reality.
As I realized I was lying face down I could feel the nervousness swarm over me
Searching for air like a wild wolf hunts for prey
Desperately I push myself up, lungs rapidly expanding catching any bits of air my mouth could hold
But a foot is on my back pushing me down
Crying intensely for my life I give and do all I can
I tried everything but making a deal with the Devil
And its simply not enough.
My life is at steak
So sit at a fancy restaurant and look deep into the silverware
Think of that night and that prayer that took place as you bit into my juicy reality.
I am saved from the rain, saved from my self and the skin I'm in
You see I have a father who is greater than all
He gave his all for me
All he asked is that I would give him my all, and I fell on my knees and gave all that I could
My broken-down self.
So instead of fighting with the stranger, the rain,
What is fed to me by this world, what I need.. and what I must have
I submitted myself to the Awesome God.
Thank you Lord for my life, for giving your life for me.
I love you Lord
You are my first, truest and deepest love that I will ever have.
Thank you Lord

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004