--- © Poetry Section from year 2004 ---

The Oyster

I drink from the oyster that holds my existence and all of its cool salty wonder.
Washing upon the beach I pry it open
I thirst your goodness and grace to the point where my body weeps.
I am in awe looking towards you,
I'm stuck - caught in amazement, this morning by the coast
Bitter is my temperment, but alas
My body cannot control the emotion my mind and soul contains,
It pours out over me and tears roll over my skin
The pages of your word wrinkle on contact with the salt,
And for the first time I become aligned with you.
The deepness, the power of You, the Creator of All things
I love you Lord, and I thank you for picking me up when I'm injured and helping me heal.
I am but an infant deeply dependent upon you.
So spit into the dirt, and wipe the mud upon my eyes so that I may see - for I am blind.
I need not prove what my heart has already seen,
What my eyes cannot concieve.
Some things are true if you believe them or not.
Help me pick up the pieces to this broken sea-shell,
And search for the pearl within the oyster that you have placed in me.
Ignite my soul so it burns for you.
Jesus you carry me when my legs give out,
When my frail soul collapes from the pressures of this life.
I surrender everything to You.
There is still a battle that rages in a fury between the earth and the moon
And the weight of it is forcing me down upon my knees
It connects me to a supernatural sense of urgency for someone greater.
So you lift up my broken body, and I lift you up in praise.
I am a prisioner of Christ, rejoycing in the art of the shackles that are upon me.
Freedom lies within them
See the art painted upon my soul and help me become a true masterpiece
A Timeless piece, that floods of absolute beauty,
In Love for You.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Losing Myself

My head is buried in the sand,
With the age of becoming waiting to crash down upon my fragile soul.
Inside me lies a small person in a very big world.
I get up and dust off the sand, telling myself I will not give in
To the unknown evils that lay ahead.
Taking myself on a search for the strength my mind lacked made my hands ache
I touched everything within me, but not my lost soul.
Fearing the worst, I panic and cry out "Where are you?"
Recieveing the response of silence.
I have done the unknown and misplaced myself.
Lost within myself, being lost within this world.
All the fear lies in my eyes, and they stay closed as I count to ten
When I open my eyes I will only see my surroundings and nothing else will matter.
As I open my eyes I realize how beautiful it is
Looking and wondering into the night sky.
In the valley of the shadow of death I find light
The light that creates the shadow.
Please help me! I need you, I yearn for you
My soul cries out for you, for I am lost and nothing without you.
I'm endlessly sailing like a baloon that can't be grasped.
You cant grasp my reality.
I crash and tumble towards the earth, a part of my life is unknown to the naked eye.
I scream deeply and passionatly
So much my body begins to shake
Help me find myself, help me draw closer to you
It is my only prayer that my body aches from saying.
Please, I ask from the deep pits of my broken down heart
Help me and lead me home.
So as I stumble
I come across a leaf that makes me question the purpose of this life that I live.
Why do I think to question the artists vision in me?
Tears roll down my face
And as I look to the sky I now see a cloud that formed directly overhead.
In this one cloud a raging fury of nature is unleashed.
It bursts with a clap of thunder and I sit and quiver.
The rain pours down like golden leaves in the fall, as innocent as nighttime fireflys.
It enters through the gateway that I so often push tears out of.
The eye of the storm simply captivates me.
The rain washes the streets clean and filles the gutters to the brim
To a breaking point, it fills me to my breaking point.
You cleanse my insides and make me sting with newness.
I am new when you are inside me,
So take over this lost ship at sea, turn hard to starboard and calm the waters that rage in me.
Spilling my souls pixie dust into others lives
Leaves only me to clean up the blood stains that I've some how created by crushing my soul.
Make no mistake, I all together collapse without your structure in my life.
The red blood pains the walls to my everyday reality and the stench lives in my life.
But you help me pick up the pieces and start over, paint the walls and create a new me.
Only you.
I look to the sky again and the rain has now passed
Now its just me and this overbearing sky leaning against my vision and instict.
It drys my waterways and helps complete the metamorphsis in me.
For sin was the cocoon that glazed over my eyes
But now I see, even if as burry as a babys newborn eyes.
Lord help me find my eyes..
Lord be my eyes.
It is simple to walk blindly when you have it easy.
But when you trip, when you stumble or backslide your true motives are known.
Thank you Lord for leading the way
I look forward to our future.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Ocean's Heart

I am alone
I fear I might get disconnected from you
And the digital age has me addicted like a drug attic
It makes me believe everything's okay, when my soul is crying aloud
So I sit here writing like an early pioneer
With just the sounds of the ocean caressing my mind
This is the chicken soup to the soul.
And my Daddy, our father
Hand feeds this to us with a silver spoon
For we are nothing short of spoiled
And his grace is unmistakable to the naked eye.
So as I walk through the forests and hike up mountains
I stop to thank God for bringing me here.
Along the way I realize this road is hard, and long
But through the hardships and the misconstrued conceptions
You make it all worth while.
I am just a little boy with a sore throat
And now I have my cough drop
I can't help but give thanks
If not for my own breath
Than for my ability to write.
I can only imagine what its like
Above the earth looking down from heaven
And every day is complete
Except the days where I don't talk to you
My Best Friend..
Similar to the ocean,
Everyday people run to the beaches from bare feet on white sand,
To sandals or boots,
And we all leave our foot prints.
After the day is old,
In the 24th hour, the tide picks up
And erases the days impressions
New to the next person
New for the next day.
We are surrounded by your glory
And how close we are to being a beach!
Many times our faith breaks upon the weight of itself, like a wave in the ocean
And our faith is built upon a corroding factor
How many times do we build our faith upon a beach of sand
As we enter your presence
Life tends to seep everything but your very existence out of each one of us
We are left empty and short of breath, dizzy and lost.
The ocean waves start to attack
And break down our doorways to the soul.
Gutting our insides with a sharp razor, we are left with scars.
All we have to do
Is move to solid ground,
The rock on the coast.
We can sing of your praises
But so many times we are led astray
Help us fix our eyes on you Lord.
Let us lift you up as high as the north star.
And gaze in awe by your beauty.
Surely we can sing of your love
As nature does when the waves crash on a beach
Or the earth shakes
When the wind brushes a blade of grass
Or when we are silent in awe of your power.
Please help me to be more like you
Take my heart!
I long for yours, and to be like you.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Walking on Water

It's a lot to handle
An overbearing panic attack
As my future crashes upon the shore
The deconstructing of my life
For the fog that covers my body will once again come to move
And I will be beside myself
Am I just a plane lost here in the clouds?
I fear this is the truth
So what can I look into
What do I see when I look into an empty broken me?
The world is so massive I fear I do not belong
I look to God, again and again.
When I'm drowning in the waters
It is Jesus who saves me
Walks on the water and calms my restless heart.
When the storm within me is too much to handle
He sends me angles
Who are by my side.
When I am lost and alone
He whispers my name
He tells me who I am.
Our God is an Awesome God.
We may not understand his plan
But his vision and passion is surely remarkable.
If we could only have a heart like his.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Magical Moments

All I could feel is this moment
For every word rang true like a chime in a church bell.
I lived for this moment, and for this feeling
When my chest gets warm like I just drank something hot,
And people can see the fire burning in my eyes
Reflecting the fire in Gods eyes
For even with your eyelids closed your body and senses scream for more as your eyes burst open.
So I harness this fuel and sit drinking some coffee
Engaging in night time cups of conversation.
I am numb to the truth of things, and sometimes even I can't see it.
Sometimes I refuse to see it, I don't want to acknowledge this is apart of me
I almost leave myself not knowing who I am.
For all of our lives we are trained to be a certain way
We are taught how to think, and where to think it.
Every single one of us has been trained by this world
But the worlds teachings and its future are today's epidemic.
Whoever says happiness lay in the sun
Has obviously never danced in the rain.
Everything is what you make it out to be, or so were told.
What is the truth for you.. may not be for someone else around you.
This is what is fed through the eye of the beholder, and eaten up by us all of our lives.
So alone I lay on my bed
Awake in the night time shadows of my bedroom
Staring at this blank sheet of paper is enough to drive me crazy
I must do more.. I must be and become more!
All this being written in the luxury of a dimmed light that shines my way.
But I shall not fear the future for myself,
I am free, forgiven of my sins
Baptized in the water
I took a public vow, professed my faith in the unseen
For my eyes don't need to see it
My hands don't need to feel it
And my mind doesn't always have to accept it
For my heart can see the undeniable truth.
I shall fear for the future of my brothers and sisters
Praying for every chance to talk to them.
If you really must see it to believe it
Then open the eyes of your heart
And you will know that it is all true.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Cold Rain

I can see clearly into the sky
Through the darkness of the night and beyond the stars.
Sitting in the silence of the night I feel the world around me
I sit, big eyed like a child who's eyes are fixed on insurmountable odds.
In the air I see my breath billow out like the thick fog of a morning shower
Reaching with my hands to the cracks of my car
To feel the warmth push out like a hot blanket.
The silence - disturbed by the sounds of a hot engine touching the brisk arctic air
Looking into the silver laced sky I sit and pray.
Closing my eyes I thank my Lord, for without Him
I am nothing.
Without him I have no purpose
With my Daddy we all are lost, in a world that is spinning out of control
I want to cry out in embarrassment for how clear everything is.
You always see through me, even if I front in a crowd of strangers
I'm as clear as a window to you.
Opening my eyes I am at peace
It is simply my minds elation to think of the distance and galaxy's that my prayers travel.
Fling wide your awesomeness and let it rain down like your abundance of grace shelters me from harm.
Getting up I began a walk down aside the road less traveled as it began to rain.
The rain is heavy with judgment
It is intense
Pushing me to the ground
I'm kneeling in the rain, blue lipped from the cold.
I can hear my heart pound in my ears and I clutch onto my heart..
Its all you ever wanted.
My mind Flashes back to a summer of innocence
Walking and dancing in the rain, happily soaked with the judgment of the world
I stop, stretching my arms with all my might so I can feel my muscles stretch out of place
Head up to the sky, screaming out and asking for a new life.
In an instant my mind jerked me back to reality.
As I realized I was lying face down I could feel the nervousness swarm over me
Searching for air like a wild wolf hunts for prey
Desperately I push myself up, lungs rapidly expanding catching any bits of air my mouth could hold
But a foot is on my back pushing me down
Crying intensely for my life I give and do all I can
I tried everything but making a deal with the Devil
And its simply not enough.
My life is at steak
So sit at a fancy restaurant and look deep into the silverware
Think of that night and that prayer that took place as you bit into my juicy reality.
I am saved from the rain, saved from my self and the skin I'm in
You see I have a father who is greater than all
He gave his all for me
All he asked is that I would give him my all, and I fell on my knees and gave all that I could
My broken-down self.
So instead of fighting with the stranger, the rain,
What is fed to me by this world, what I need.. and what I must have
I submitted myself to the Awesome God.
Thank you Lord for my life, for giving your life for me.
I love you Lord
You are my first, truest and deepest love that I will ever have.
Thank you Lord

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Ice

When my blood starts to ice over,
I inject the true love,
Boiling blood, burning for you.
Shot like a needle I can feel the warm infect my veins like a virus
Oh if we could all catch you.
I feel it take over my thoughts, and I start to sweat
Pounding through my eardrums, penetrating the head, the eyes
I sit, eyes watering.
Lord, please help me get through this day.
I need your help.
Taking up my cross daily,
Yes, I want the slivers that come with the wooden cross..
Because sometimes true love will drive nails into itself, all for us.
Lord thank you for all you have given me.
Thank you for my friends and family
If I ever needed a reason aside of You to become a better Christian,
Wait, there isn’t.
I strive to become better
Trying to live for You, and You alone.
Help me Lord
So as I feel my arm from the injected blood,
I sit in awe
Lead me to places where I do not belong
So I can bring the goodness of Your word.
Bring me to life.
Change me from who this world wants me to be,
To someone You can easily see in me.
Resurrect the deadened soul in me
For You I live.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Loving Eyes

I love you lord
Help me live my life for you
Yes, I can be a failure in the world’s eyes
As long as I’m pleasing to my Lord
You are all that matters.
And this part goes out to the lost
I pray that some day- they will find their way to You
Because there is only one way - through You.
I want to fit in with the crowd
So that I won’t feel like an outcast
I need You
So I can help myself cope with these eyes of judgment that are cast upon me.
I cry for You
Your silence is sometimes saying too much.
My soul weeps for Your love
We live in a world where abortion is legalized,
And people vote on political topics that are of the world.
It makes me think and wonder what everything is coming to..
Please help me so I won’t fall again
And when I do help me up and use the band-aids once again
For my knees are scraped and hands worn red
I need you to lift me up.
Be my balance and take the form you have in my life
You are my meaning, and I miss you.
Help me to share the word so I can tell all about You, and your Grace!
A secret I’ve kept for far too long.
So I sit in my room
With my head pressing against my wall
I can feel my head pound from the chaos of the day
And outside the day is now night, the light is now dark
The world is big and I am small
Nights like this are only feared about
So soon the angel of darkness will come
To take me away
This is the end of the world
Are you coming with me?
It’s all over the news now
Governments are in panic, people are lost.
Now they look for answers.
I pray for these people
I pray for everyone.
I shall die before I take the mark of the beast
And so my angel awaits me at my door
I suppose I should be happy
Reunited with everyone, but sadness overcomes
So many people are listening to what anyone will say
So many are grasping and searching, crying, hoping for a ray of light in the dark.
So many are so close and yet so far.
I wanted this day for so long, now its here - why do I long for more time?
I can stand before my Lord God
My Hero
And run to him broken down and alone
For You will take care of it all
And bring me to my senses.
Thank you Lord, oh how I love you
Please pray for those you love.
For now you see how I see the world everyday.
So many are lost.
So many souls are crying out for help -
And we have but a blink of an eye to show them the truth
Even less time for them to hear the voice of truth
Dear Lord, Please Work Through Me.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Loving Blindly

So many must see it to believe it
Feel it to know it
But not I
I love based on the truth of who You are
Blessed are those who love blindly
Many times we do not understand what You tell us
But many times You are speaking directly to us
And in our language
Please help my friends find You Lord
Help them and their loved ones
They need You more and more each passing hour
And yet they don’t see it
Blinded by lies, they need Your voice of truth
Life is a funny thing
Please pray for everyone you love
And pray a special prayer
For those who have not yet met Him.
Once you know the truth - there’s no turning back
You won’t run or turn away from You - for if they have
They have not truly met you
Pray hard
Then pray harder.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Pouring Down

As the Rain Pours Down
I see the roof leak with stress
The wood beams cracking, giving in to the pressure
As the walls shake with the nervousness
That it will all come crumbling down.
So often Lord we are the same way…
As much as I try to express my love for you
Press the sweet joys of life through my lips
There are forces that prevent me and the full effect of you in me.
This is the 21st century - and I shout your name
When the time is right
So how do I live for you?
Breathe for you and let you take control?
How can I hand you the controls to my life,
If I won’t relinquish the controls?
I know you’re the best driver; you made the course and the car.
Help me for I leak when the rain pours
I want for people to be astonished with your love in me
For them to see so much of you in me – would be incredible!
Why can we shout your name to the heavens among a crowd of strangers,
But barely seek your face in front of crowds of friends?
We don’t want to dismantle a friendship, and put stakes through our life
We don’t want to do – what you have already done for us.
Yes Lord, I am giving you full control to my life
And whatever you want for me, I want.
Lord I know I’ve got a free will by the goodness and grace of You.
But I choose to live my life for you, and close to you and no one else!
So help me Lord and so many others improve
To live by the actions we cry for.
Lord please open my eyes to all that I do not see.
I Love you
This paper cannot describe how you make me feel
I tremble, and you make every hair on my body stand up
For this does not do justice, it is just a collaboration of words
Themes, images, and that’s not the experience.
So help my life take on a form of one you would be proud of
So everyone can say they see a little bit of you in me.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Born into War

As a baby, we are innocent
But we grow up quickly and our innocence is thrown to the ground
Like a fleece placed over the lambs eyes, before we know it – it’s gone
And the Wolf moves in.
So I pull my sword from my sheath
Hot golden pureness dripping from the metal that made it
We stand on the front line, arm to arm
Not a word is spoken for we know we may loose our lives.
Trembling in our Armor we stand.
Shaking on the battlefield that is centuries old
“Lord help me fight this war
Give me and your army the power and strength to carry on
For oh so many are blind to their heart
And so many more accept things for what they seem
But the wolf is drawing near”
Blind, confused, out of control – we need to come as one body
And stand strong.
The Dragon is moving in with reinforcements
But we are assured to win
“Take this sword and help me charge into the Dragon
The one who drinks blood and seeks to cloud your words”
I strike the Dragon
A fatal blow –
But somehow the dragon heals itself.
Prepare yourself for battle
For all mankind will bow to the dragon and to their fate in the same breath.
Yes Lord, time is running out.
Your return is near
And scared by your power you instill in your people, the dragon will flee.
He may escape us, but he can never escape you.
Cleanse my soul in your blood
Lord keep me safe from all evils
And speak to me through my heart and teach me how to listen.
Help my heart continue to burn for you – but push me further
Until I have a chest that is red with Love.
A never ending passion for you.
Stoke the fire and add your word to keep me blazing along the way.
Help me find the right words for my brothers and sisters
So they can come on our army.
We are soldiers at war!
The dragon circles and scorns the earth,
Breaks apart now non-existent families, and turns many from you
Lord guide me so I can grab theses ears and heads that have turned on you
So that some day we can all sing of your praises
I love you Lord!
Help me!
Help my cause and my existence
And please help to open hearts of stone so we can let in the truth!

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

To Live For

I want to be like you
So they can look at me, and see bits of you within me.
I want to be an example, help me live by your Word.
I’ve got to admit I’ve fallen so far below – so many times.
And… you already know.
I’m trying so hard to live for you.
I want to be a holy example – make me more.
I give you my life, my mire clay
Show me how to live!
You wake me up inside and you show me love like I’ve never experienced.
Show me how to live out loud.
I am Yours!
Form me into a living example of your Loves effect.
Harden me and I will stand on the rock,
No longer will I build my home upon a shore of sand.
So I sit next to you,
And stare deeply into your face,
Into a face that physically isn’t there,
But has made me physically and emotionally aware of the war that is waging.
Looking into the face of someone who has a permanent place in my heart
You see, it’s not the speaker that holds you captive
It’s the story, the meaning of our life
So when the sun touches the mountains
It gives it life for the very first time,
Like when Christ made me ALIVE!
Giving Real meaning to this life.
When the clouds break and clear,
The sun shines through more powerful than ever
Filling the earth with energy
Like Gods Impact on me
He gives me feeling.
When the fall nights are touched by the amber leaves
The warmth from the summer still illuminates in them
Help me learn Lord, by the simple things in life.
Every time I open this Bible, I feel free.
Like I was drowning and lungs collapsing, I now can breathe
You are my breath of fresh air among the smog of the world.
It is you who brings me to life, and who I adore.
It’s driving through the autumn mist
And being in the middle of nowhere with the music blazing of righteous praise
Lord God Almighty! - Wake my soul!
Turning off the tunes and stopping in a small costal town
Walking the beach & calling your name.
I need you now more than ever
People mock you with their words, they strike at me Your son.
But through you my soul cannot have a fatal blow
My soul won’t be pierced or ripped to bits as long as I keep you inside!
The words I send up to you are empty shells that fire on a war that’s very much alive
Empty artillery
Fill me up inside and let my words penetrate the soul
Lord let me inject some truth in people!
I love you Lord – lift my soul and I will sing Holy!
You Are Lord God Almighty!!

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Endless Presence

I sing in my room and dance to the music
I dance with tears in my eyes
Raising my hands, and lifting my voice
I do all I can to praise you...
For it's not the singer, it's the song that we sing.
I'm lost in the moment I dance with you.
For one brief moment, I get chills down my spine that tingle the depths of my soul
And in that moment I realize what I'm living for
I'm living off the memory of the love that died for me
For my bones like my soul - are empty without you inside.
I continue my walk of faith...
I can see myself, standing in the wind
With your presence lingering like a guardian angel.
I know you're with me, yet I know I'm alone
I walk the streets of darkness, and fall into a depression
Being selfishly abused, I bathe in the self pity of my self destruction.
I can do nothing but pray.
All through the night, I create books of untold prayers
Delivered to the doorstep of your ears
And when the night is building the morning, I raise my hands in praise
I let him calm the waters, cool the nights, and keep building the faith.
Let everything that has breath, praise him.
I will praise you with every breath I take
And though I may fail and I know I struggle
I will continue to try to be like you
With your help, I might find the way.
The beauty of your heart, is more than my eyes can bare
Praise the Lord God Almighty
Thank you Father for everything you've given me.
When I look at you, I feel complete...
I feel whole, and finally at peace.
I love you Lord.
Let me praise you until I take my last breath.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004