The Beating Heart

Every heartbreak hurts, so catch me.
I'm falling.
This fear is inked into my expressions
And I see no expression within myself, and it leaves me feeling cold.
Nothing like a splash of cold water upon my face to help me fight the day.
The very same water that evaporates into my sentences
The words that exit my mouth like a lost vapor in a desert of steam.
Catch me as I'm falling
Your fallen angel.
My knees hit the ground and I am left kneeling at the feet of your presence
In a moment like this I squint to see your mercy pour through.
Like a monsoon storm in Africa the rain pours on the roof,
Darkening the day, and quieting all existence with a clap of thunder.
Yet we are all so wrecked from the havoc of life that we miss all the small things,
Like rainbows of a different kind, of a different place- not a symbol of these times.
To the world you Bless on Sunday, when you collect offerings.
Otherwise you are just a passing through on a moment of convenience.
In a world where we are best kept inside, you push us out.
My name is erased as I step outside
For I see that I am not alone, maybe one of a kind for this generation.
But what about the grand scheme of the world?
Where do I fit in?
Oh what a sad existence we are fed.
Pushing onward I reach to my inner strength
But my insides do not feel authentic
I am holding back, but not around you oh Lord.
A guard that only comes down when I am with You.
What is the meaning of this?
Nothing but emotion split on these hands of time
What a colorful display.
My heart beats and pushes this toxin
Through my veins and in my life.
A virus of sin, and it does not stop when you start to cry, it multiplies
Eyes being poisoned throughout my day so that I can hardly see.
I don't need eyes to see Your love.
You cause my hurt to be erased, You are my cure to this disease and my breath to life.
So I sit back with ease and look at the surrounding mass of culture swarm around me in contempt.
This empire pushes upon my comfort zone, breaking the limits.
And again I fall in agony to you.
Sending up a prayer, that maybe my life will reflect Your glory.
Take this heart of mine oh Lord, and make me as You see fit.
Telling me through sweet whispers
'Someday you will Love like my heart Aches.'
Oh to love with such a passion
Shall only happen when I'm in the arms of you.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2005