Star Gazer

I have been up all night
Trying to spend my dream
Because I sit in my room all night,
And think of you.
I need true love.
Living in the past - has became my reality.
But I am going to swallow my emotion
And take the bullet.
You were someone who was there for me,
But you have became just a voice
And a choice to call,
Which has became a whisper when you answer.
You know that the space between us, lines your face
And the galaxies line our thoughts.
With the linen being thrown out,
I run my hands run across the stars.
They glitter in your eyes like Christmas lights.
I just want to become a better person
It's a fantasy that comes to mind,
And if I am to move on, and become strong
I must leave you behind.
You and your face is in my song,
In my dream
And in my thoughts.
I wake up at night and cry
Waking up from this dream, it is a fantasy
Like a forest fire that has gone on for years
I have been burned,
I have had enough
But I do not know how to stop the pain,
The fire that churns inside
And the scars that are left behind
Cannot be hid,
Because they are a inedible a part of me.
Making the fabrication of my life
And everything I live on.
If I slip up
I get a gun in my face
But what am I?
I am going insane
I know the path I have chosen to walk
But can't I get up out of bed,
After having night mares holding my pillow close
And then walk the path.
It was the saddest day
The day I realized who I was.
It was tragic
The sparks flew,
But who dared throw rocks at me?
You have broke my heart,
And now I am left to sweep up the pain
I am going nowhere fast,
But if my wheels stop spinning,
I am left wondering through this insane vision
Would you jeopardize your inner secrets?
Take a ride with me, and see.
And step under the waterfall of journeys
So we can make new stories I can write about.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002