A Rivers Withdrawal

I feel as if I must put up this wall
Cold sweat drips off my forehead,
To let you think things go deeper than they are

You will let me shed a tear and write theological words
As I impose my will, you will think of me higher,
Think of me deeper...
Think of me everything I am not when I think in this river of thought.

It cascades around me
So let me withdraw and pull back from any true relationship
As I repeat my own history that I despise.
I fail at everything I try,
And I suceed at doing everything I wish I didn't.

I am endlessly bleeding these thoughts.
Every heartbeat hurts
No love in the sky but maybe
Someday you will love life like my heart aches to live..

Poem by J.A.D. © 2006