Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Failures Unseen

As the woman drives down the street
She wipes away tears from her eyes;
Cars pass her by on this unforgiving night.
Arriving at a park she stops and gets out,
So now she walks down this never ending street.

Someone stops her to say hello,
she greets them and smiles
She can't - she won't breakdown in front of you,
only when nobody is around,
can you really begin to understand who she is.
Greet me with a smile and I’ll look past your puffy eyes,
I don't want to see that you've been sleepless
To see you and acknowledge you in your broken state of being
Would require a little something of me.

And will you take notice when I'm gone?
Do you realize that this seat is empty and dusty?
How many times I've seen you and others move on,
Many times I've sat back and watched a section of my life
Move to the dormant stage.
And myself? I move backwards... away from the limelight

My flame still burns for you,
The candlelight falls to the dark of the world
And the wax has built itself up
Now I am content with my thoughts in the back of my mind,
But I am disconnected from you.

All of this anger I have,
Is aimed at all of my very own downfalls
Something I can never seem to do right
Is just be... Yet, I continue on-
Each day bringing new heights of failure to my naked eyes.
I fail so much that I fear it is becoming a norm
Something I don't wish for anybody.
My only friend is the emptiness inside me...
It truly can relate to how I feel all the time.
I struggle with life, I struggle with God

Poem by J.A.D. © 2006

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wish sometimes, that I could get inside your head. Not for control, not for curiosity. Actually, I'm not sure I want to admit to myself why I feel so compelled to know you so deeply.

I wish that I knew, that I could feel along side you, the root of the pain you only show in the dark lines of darker pages.

Even now, I read your words and quietly wish that I could know you like no one else does. Could be known by you, and that we would speak as tenderly as these words speak.

That I had been brave enough to look into your eyes without being afraid of what they would say, and afraid of their contrast to the secrets mine would reveal.

And even though I have no reason to believe you ever cared for me, and even though I cherish the simplicity of the friendship we share... I've never been able to shake the idea that there could have been something deeper than I'll ever know, if only you really saw me...instead of that I'm not your type.

Anonymous said...

I feel the exact same as the comment before this one.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your words. They have expressed what I have attempted to convey in my own poetry and yet have fallen short of achieving so many times.

Anonymous said...

Well, I don't think anything I say here will compare, just know that I agree with as much of that first comment as I can. lol. In other words...I liked this one, too! ;)
~MB