Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Free Falling

I was flying above the earth
Away from everything
Above my fears, above the clouds.
Nothing matters up here.
I love flying in the rain
Lightening dares the plane to go near it
In one moment I saw my eyes change
From happiness to panic, from assuming to hoping
Everything flashed before my eyes
The undisputed beat of my heart
And the blood pressure rising
The cells inside me are popping from the heat
It pushes painfully through my veins
And flows easy from the energy of the bolt
My life quickly flashes before my eyes
Standing atop a London statue
Alone
The rain pours down, flooding my hair
Into my eyes
I wipe my eyes, and squint to see
A statue, with pain - bleeding through the eyes
It rains on the streets down below.
I only see the blind leading the deaf.
The fire chars my skin
Smoke fills my lungs and I look to see everyone
Feel the drama engulfing the plane
A girl next to her boyfriend
Children huddled next to their mother
Feel the drama engulfing the plane
An old couple clings on to each other with new youth in panic
The lightening melting the engine,
Making me see things
That shall never be told.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The Storm

The storm keeps on twisting
And through the wind, and the lightening
An old man turned to me as if to say
Hurry she's waiting for you.
The happiness burns inside like a rainbow.
I want to be exposed,
Like a bad roll of film.
Turn to me and tell me you do too
For you make up all that you left
Even in the line of fire
You are in the arms of an angel
Flawless
But you fear change,
And you fear me.
Life's setup in a domino effect
A flinch and you live in a wreck
Rest your mind and come with me.
Step to my apartment
There's no one home, but
From my lips to God's ear
Girl I did you wrong
And I will do you right,
Forget your fears, and take a chance with me.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Monday, August 29, 2005

Head Gear

You just think
Because I take this fate,
And eat this bread and wine
That I can't have hate on my plate?
Well open your eyes country boy,
For these are the lives
Through my fathers eyes.
Do I need to kick you in the head?
Or instead scream at you in the field
We all are flesh and bone
But if you want to see me home
You can watch me ride.
And by looking at my rearview mirror,
I'll be watching you
Don't turn around
As a mater of fact, if you want to react
We can stare each other down
For there's no company like this, and this is my home
In the land of the free,
The freedom is mine.
Do you wish to share 200 years of captivity - with me?
I have a few years free, and yet
Now you want to shout with me?
Get a grip boy,
Sink your teeth into reality.
Wipe the sweat from your lips
And step into the fast lane

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Beaches

The sun is coming up
And I am far away from here
Leaving my house, I travel
I go to the beach
And hear the heavens sing
And watch the ocean thrust up a sun
The wind blowing at my back,
Pushing my hair over my eyes
Bathe in the sweet fragrance of the songs
Put fourth your soul
And feel with your eyes
For not with your hands
Can you experience the ultimate joy
Of life.
Hear Helen sing her beauties domain
And lean back against the sand
Brushed with cool water against my tender feet
I close my eyes, and dream of you
The sand sucks the ground out from under me
Making me open my eyes
To the most beautiful thing you can imagine

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Angels above

I am comforted
In the arms of an angel
Still loving what is now is gone
Like the rain that pours,
And the street it leaves wet
It has dampened my soul, but I am trying
So I can resume my life
The news that truly shocks
Is an empty cover page
While the fire rattles your brain
It confines the bear to its empty cage
The fear of being without you is real
I can't handle this
I grieve for you
You'll live with me forever
I want it - this smell and feeling
Out of my home
Listen, its gone
And I know life carries on
Through the women I meet.
But for now, it's just you, me and the rain
The ashes we cry on and the dust
Life carries on without you
The color I wear
The feeling that tears
The face that I hide in
As life carries on.
Did I dream this belief?
Or did I flow like the stream..

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Friday, August 26, 2005

Out from the dark

You've got a pretty smile
Why do you hide your fears behind it
Let them free
And we will both go find ourselves
In the prime of our youth.
I know there's nowhere you can hide the pain
And the tears you can only hold back
I know the feeling of being alone
And being locked out.
I know that you feel uninvited
But step back inside from the cold wet rain
Step away from the edge of terror
I am listening to you
Your best friend is not your mirror
I am here and I will stay with you forever in this moment
I know there is nowhere you can go to hide your pain anymore
I know what you're feeling
Trust me,
And sink into my arms.
Like an angel falling from the sky
I will catch you
You aren't alone
I am here for you.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Thursday, August 25, 2005

The Basic Elements

Inside we are all still burning wet.
Looking amidst the earth
The waterfall of fire
Crashes upon the ceiling of the atmosphere
Breaking the fragile glass
You can smell the kerosene in the air
And the gas ignites in the field of water
Exploding into the earth
Leaving masses wondering where the fish went
Through this world of wet we realize our youth
Leaving the fire that burns inside,
To that of a small flame
The fire perceives us as good not evil
And we see the water as the power.
A wall of great mass that moves towards me
Becoming one with me on contact
Thrusting me upward to the heavens
Flying through the air, feeling warmth
The fire peers jealously down below
When the sun sets, the water goes cold,
But flame still burns
Etching in our memory we call for the fire
The insurmountable strength of the fire eludes us
And we are thankful for the power which we see
Not the power naked to the eye.
Feast your eyes upon the flame that burns in you.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Driver

He pulled out the garage
And told me to take it easy
But the drivers getting nervous
And making me wheezy
I can see him sweat in his seat,
He wipes his brow and listens to his heart beat in his ears
But I don't really care as long as I get my service.
So blast the radio loud
So I can forget about you
Roll down the window and blow out the smoke
I don't want to choke
A small truth within a lie
I step out of the car
Into a jungle of rage
They tell me to back up
And shove me against a wall
I am trapped
Turned me around and had me plead my knees
On the side walk face down
People stare at me
With pity in their eyes
And as I fade out from this hole in my spine
My life pours out and the hands of time push against me.
I must cure these pains
Or blow out my brains
It's too late cuz now I'm standing over me
Watching me bleed.
My momma's screaming my name
Shakin my face to keep me alive
I told her to take the keys and drive
My temp. is getting hot
It doesn't help that I got this el.' pulsing through my veins
As I see the killer walk off
I realized was caught on the spot.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Hands in Place

Take a little time - too look at the time that you have just spent.
You think you can do this to me?
I am not some blown up embassy.
Look around at the times, such violent times
Which we can do nothing about.
So sit there in your chair, and pull your hair and the tears that come out from your face.
Realize how much of a disgrace you are to everyone.
Cry into your hands, please.
Sink into your self pity, and dream of changing.
That's all you will ever do - dream.
Don't step to me, I don't want part in it
So back up now before I get mad, and take your hands off.
I'm on my own.
Pushing off into my life's pure bliss
Leaving you with a finger up from a fist.
How does it feel to be you?
I hope you soak up the feeling,
Until you feel so dirty you have to change your ways.
Because I cannot stand one more moment of looking at you.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Monday, August 22, 2005

Two points

When I step to this spot,
I am taken to another place.. I am with another cast.
I have nothing to prove to anyone
I am at peace with myself.
Looking at a shot I want so bad im breathless
A running wreck..
But I have my time to think
Through the screams and scares.
I Drive the lane.. spinning past opponents
Gliding into the air, I am undercut
Falling on my back, my eyes look to the stars
Like a scene out of a book,
It is nothing more than mere child's play.
Everyone is silenced for that brief moment
I jump to my feet, and get on defense.
Intensely looking at the ball
The pain in my feet makes me cringe
You think I'm letting you go that easy?
Watching it, and I want it with every muscle in my body.
Smacking for it, I smack his hand,
The Ball sent Careening down the court
I catch up with the ball, and pass it off
My back twists, sending pain in all directions
With the adrenaline pumping I get set
I spot up for the shot
I get the best feeling inside when I feel the leather.
Running my hands over it, I spin into control
Feeling the ball release I know I'm going to make it.
This magic moment - Solo for me.
I could stay here forever.
The ball tears through the stagnant net,
Dust fills the air as the game ends.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Unfinished Work

The darkness in the night stands on me
Layering the coolness
Like a freeze frame,
Motionless in time, but never-ending.
Caught in my hopes
I am lost.
The shores of a beach receding away,
Like my faith in life.
The big screen appears,
And my life continues.
Help me space out my unfathomable
I put words to the unspeakable.
But how can you shape the space between me and God?
The walls close in on me
Crashing down on me, I cry out to God.
Will he hear me?
Am I an angel without wings?
Or a devil without fangs
The truth?
Look beyond me, beyond the stereotypes and the conformity
Look into my brown eyes
Time is ticking away for the people of this world.
I am never found, I am unfinished
A paper unread, a book misplaced.
The lightness touches my lips,
And I think of my friends
Who touch me deeply through innocence.
Lose one friend, lose all friends
Lose all friends - lose identity.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Outside my Bubble


It feels like there is a stone in my stomach
I feel like I have un-finished business.
My emotions are coming out...
People don't understand me, or how deep I really am.
I may be the biggest loser of all time...
So we talked for a year, and then went out for 5 months.
After 5 months - advance 2 years
And I give you the Present time.
You have a boyfriend, last I checked
I have no girlfriend, and nobody even close to being one.
I feel like I need to talk to you...
But my emotions are fading with each second.
What do you feel?
I love to make like there is nothing wrong
I love to feel like I have done everything I could have.
I like to tell myself I am not jealous.
Reality eludes me in my sleep...
It's all out.
I will have questions now, but the truth remains
You were a part of my life for almost 2 years
But then I cut you off - killing what ever emotion was left.
A few months later, I come to my senses and realize what I've done.
My world was crashing all around me...
I try to talk to the females
When I think of myself with someone, things go blurry.
Like a deer in the street at night
The headlights just consume the deer, and he is run off the road.
So this is the inner me - this is my closet...
Did you expect something else?
I need closure - something that has lacked, for what feels like forever.
Will I ever get this closure?
Is this it?...
Questions go round in my head, and spill out in other forms.
Do you know what I know?
I need a girl, I need a life.


Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Friday, August 19, 2005

Empty Inside

A man walks into a cold, dark room
He walks over to a storage area and picks up a box.
This leather object would be a stranger to anybody else
But not him.
Sitting down on this old shut down stage
The chair sent goosebumps to his skin with memories
He fumbled for his keys in his pockets
Now, keys in hand he stood gazing out into the open black auditorium, reminiscing
A light turned on directly over his seat
Taking the keys, he touched the cool metal, searching for a key hole
The jingle of the keys fell silent in the room, as he found what he was looking for.
The sound of the case unlocking clicked in the darkness
The man slowly unzipped and unpacked his treasure.
The smell of wood and rosin fills his face as he opens it
Taking the instrument in one hand, and the bow firmly in the other
He started to play, at first a timid sound came out of the instrument that he held
As his body movements kicked in, so did the sound.
The intensity and the passion poured out of his body
Being magnified by the red violin
The artist got up and walked around the room with ease
Playing his life's tune
Exuberant and full of joy the man filled the room with color.
The rosin flew off the strings before him, forming a cloud
The artist - unfazed at this played through it
He plugged in his heartache and misfortune
And his happiness and love to create a masterpiece.
The man stopped playing on a resounding key
Wisking the bow off the string, the violin rang clear.
The room was warm, padded with music and art
Sitting back down in his seat he smiled as he looked at the instrument
"Whenever I need you - you're here."
The light dimmed to nothing as the man put everything back just like it was found.
Quietly, the man walked out the door grinning with peace.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Racing with a Demon

As I walk to my car
Over pools of antifreeze
I open the car door and sit down
Turning the keys into the ignition,
The pistons rumble with raw power
It churns in your brain like a hot pistol
Shifting gears
I am flushed with adrenaline
Speeding along with an ice cold sweat
Passing life by, so I can forget
Dripping with intensity, I burn for more
Grinding the pedal into the floor
Pictures taken and helicopters soar
Everything moving into a blur
The streetlight falls,
And emotions run high
There is no easy way to say goodbye
Like a smoldering ember, I glow with the wind
This is where I am taken, I have not sinned
Careening down this cold wet street
As my temples pulsate, from the heat
In a race against time, I finally win.
Gliding through the air
Feeling pleasure unparalleled
The storm has cleared
What do you still fear?
A cloudy thought, the wipers on
Cleansing the passion inside of me.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Reflections of the Past

Looking In the mirror I can see my eyes
Staring blankly back into me
I have no tears left to flow
The ocean is still just as cool as snow
Are you good to go?
Covered up like a deer
And as innocent as a newborn
You are alert, hearing things unspoken
Falling deaf on the ear, but loud to the soul
Behold the stormy weather pushing ahead
Backing me into a corner, leaving me for dead
Too tired to fight
Drained as a desert.
I can feel the cool morning breeze tingle my skin
And the soft spoken words calm my fears
As I stand convicted
You know that I did it, just like you predicted.
The old record skips, like my heartbeat for you
Oh man, I did it again.
When shall I move on?
When your boyfriends gone.
Hey man, I'm talking' to you
What you wear in gold chains,
Is what you lack in brains
But you have reason to worry,
Because when you start
To take part - In hurting my love
I will wear the glove
The beginning of the end
And if you're smart, it will start
The fear in you
Ending the pain for my love.
My tongue is a sword
So I can't afford to lose you again.
By saying something foolish again.
When I look in your eyes
My knees turn to jelly
Then I get a hot sweat,
Wiping my forehead, and breaking out in chills
You catch the attention of dollarbills, and the green eyes on your pretty face.
Astonished by your beauty and grace
You keep your pace, ahead of the game.
And my hands jam into my pockets,
As you turn to me, a shot is fired.
I jump on you, bringing down the admired,
The red is real, and so is the blood.
Must I go out with a bang?
Promise to remember my name.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Skeletons

I have always had my dreams.
In school I would drift off, caught in my minds waterfall of thoughts,
Most of the times I would think of something tragic happening.
And me - being the self-condemned loser, would save the day.
I can picture a school falling apart near students,
Everyone running for there lives.
But not me, I would run and make it in time to save the person in distress.
I would become an instant hero,
That special someone, that's who I would save.
With my peers, I would be more famous than you can dream about,
That person you always wanted to impress - in my case - Nikki
Would now try to impress me.
I am dreaming.
I had Nikki stick up for me once,
Rochelle was making a fuss over a game - picking on me.
But Nikki looked into my eyes and saw that I was tight lipped.
Not going to say anything, and just let her go on until she was done.
One of the most celebrated times of my life,
She spoke up to her, and got in her face.
For me
A small incident - but something that changed me,
And the way I think about people

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Monday, August 15, 2005

The Little Boy

Sitting down upon the cement
A little boy, with hopes and dreams sat in the sunlight
He grabbed into the grass to snatch a crayon.
The people walked aimlessly before him, and didn't acknowledge him either
Until one person came up to him and asked;
"What in the world are you drawing little boy?"
The big innocent eyes glanced up at the man speaking
Little arms and fingers grabbed hold of the sheet and the boy showed the man
"What a nice drawing!" said the man
No longer intent on drawing, the boy got up and started his walk home
Walking home alongside buildings; everyone was running with fear
The boy tugged at a man watching the TV next to others, asking what was wrong?
Standing mesmerized the man wiped away dust and tears to say
"Something terrible has happened"
Almost instantly the boy heard the reporter talk,
Intent on finding out what happened, the boy saw images that would be carved into his memory.
The boy then looked terrified as he watched in awe of the world around him.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Checking the Time

Happily married for 30 years.
But it didn't start out this way
We escaped death, and here's my story.
It was my fiancée and myself
Going to skydive out of this plane
This little propeller engine, and this massive sky
Trained with two strangers, two partners
Who would take this trip of life with me
We prepared to load the three seater plane
My fiancée and her jumping partner went first
I waited until it was my turn, to stare at death and laugh.
Taking off like a dove from a hand
The plane soared through the sky
The plane screamed above us, higher and higher
I turned away, to check the time.
The time expired.
The plane crashed as smoothly as it took off
The instructor comforted me,
She told me everything was going to be okay,
In tears - she told me that she was there for me.
I went home and cried to my father as he stood looking at me.
He gazed at me with no compassion,
Embracing him, I shivered for it felt like he had ice in his veins.
I respected him none the less, like any other child would.
I talked to my instructor, and after a long time a date was arranged.
This person - who no more than a year ago was a complete stranger to me
Is now my wife.
We are in love, and forever to stay that way.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Surreal

The silence is surrounding me.
I get up and take my place on this field
Gazing around, looking at an empty stadium
The feeling is too much
Starting to walk I hear my feet crush the grass beneath me
And the dew is tracked with bits of grass on my shoe
I look up to a corner I would always sit in
Now reflecting on everything I have once done.
Taking everything for granted - I get a lump in my throat
Sanddust filled my throat, and a heavy breathing filled my body
Turning around to a massive field I see a soul
Beautiful as an angel, and quiet as a distant breeze
She walks to me, and moves her lips
I look into her eyes, and embrace her.
Like a lighting bolt, I am struck by the blood drawn from this hug
Everything spinning, in back and white flashing before my eyes
Elated by the past and stricken by surprise with the future
Everything is brought into focus
As I turn to the stands in pain and happiness I see new things
Looking back to see nothing, only the lights
Staring down at me

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Friday, August 12, 2005

My eyes

My eyes are filled with water.
I am not tired, I am not sad.
It is raining.
Swimming with a rain coat
Rubber boots and a pale.
Would you bathe with me in the sea
Or maybe dance with me?
Just keep on romancing
For I am dancing with your eloquent romance
Give me a kiss of sorrow as you send me on my way
Alone
But my tears devour your soul as I walk away
I know I am going to crash into your world without you.
You have abused me, or have I just abused myself?
Save the last dance for me
I just cannot get enough of you.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Go with the flow

I am moving like a piece of fog
Drifting endlessly, where the wind takes me
I am in love, going with the flow
The sun is up and caressing my cheeks
I can feel it burning me up, but only until I explode.
Don't take my love away.
She must go with you, or have regrets of tomorrow
I am saddened just thinking about it
Like giving up your child - because you are dying
I love her so much; I would do anything to make her happy
But this?
So pass me the needle, so I can tell her to go
"Go with him"
My chest heaves heavily with sadness
"You love him, not me - make no regrets, don't let him get away!"
I am choking on my own tears
Selfishly I think to myself - Please don't go.
As now I am caught in a storm of emotion
I raise my head to see nobody
Nobody is here anymore, just myself and my regrets
I am moving like a piece of fog
Jumping off this bridge and into the water like no others

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Soaked

I am sitting in the rain - soaked
Jumping in the ocean with my raincoat on
Watching the art of nature make me who I am.
The old man tells a joke as the loser forces a smile
The teacher pleading with students
I will be here for you
I am be finding my place, and myself
But I will continue to grow
I am pushed worlds away - but that won't stop me
Moving closer to some, farther from others
The wolf cries in the night
The devil dealing a man his soul back to him
If you need someone to lean on
Go grab a chair; you look like you need one
Take me now or take me never
Flat lined.
Did you hear me?
Take me now or never
-
Too late, never just arrived.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Dark Alleys

The cold metal pressed against my skin
Flashes of hot and cold
Me in and out of conciseness
It all started with a crack of a bat
And a sea of shattered glass pouring on the ground
My heart pounding so loudly in my ears, I cannot hear.
My veins pumping with toxin
I am strapped with TNT
So those who take me out can come with me
I said take me to my place,
He refused to cooperate - so I took him out back
I had him get on his knees and cry to me
Pistol whipped and passed out
I ran to my place, through the alleys
But I was stopped during the night
Where the skies were dark as midnight
And the alleys as dark as my soul
I am in the hot-seat now
Now I am the one coming to terms with people in Dark places
I cannot see him, but I can feel the iron pressing harder against my skull
Then my heart jumped and my hopes fell
I heard the gun load - the trigger pull.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Monday, August 08, 2005

Flowing

I am flowing on this river, taking me places against my force
The turbulent waves smash into my little ship
Making it crack and fall apart into little pieces
I am almost hurled over board, but I have caught myself
I am alone in this wondrous place, and that terrifies my soul
I go down this storm of water, free falling
Fighting for life, with no avail
My face plunges into the water below, cracking every hope I have to survive
As I close my eyes all I see is white suits and champagne pouring from the heavens
The celebration, we are all dripping with emotion now
Pure happiness and a new profound respect for life after death

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Scared

The problem is right in front of me
Looking at me in the face - gazing into me.
Let's just say it, we can't get along, and no matter how much we try we just can't
Well what about the last few years?
Oh yes, that's the past isn't it.
A long history of a past and cowardice about my friend.
If I can even still call him that.
You think we're better off being just acquaintances and not close friends
I think we should be friends, but I am the only one trying.
I am the one putting the effort in - and getting nothing worth while.
I'll let you decide because I am the one who is getting tired of trying
I need some final resolution - something I can't turn my back on.
You have hurt me, and the blood has covered my face.
It has stained me.
Only where my tears have been rolling down my face
Is where you can start to see my natural wonder?
I don't want to think of it again.
Like a spot on the carpet, it needs to be removed
No matter how much it hurts, it must be cleaned so it can heal.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Out of Time

I give in.
No longer searching for someone to care for
But what is this?
This thing of beauty and of wonder
I'm not driving a car
How should I know the signals?
Someone to think about.
That's what I needed - that's what I have
Where do I go from here?
My time is limited.
I play my options out in my head
What shall I do?
Every week I think about her
I like her - I wonder does she like me?
Childish questions fill my head
Making me feel more like a child than adult.
Am I once again reading more into something than I should?
The threat of saying something - to be wrong can ruin things
I don't want to spoil a friendship
Or am I prolonging something better...
This is my dilemma.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Friday, August 05, 2005

Floodgates

There are puddles of dreams everywhere
Always drying up, but the residue still lingers.
These are the floodgates
That holds people back from being abnormal.
A passion to be something
It beats
And it pounds like the stereo speakers on full blast
And a runner's heart
It beats me to the ground
I'm speechless in these times of need
So I sit and listen to my unfathomable breathing
And the people crying
The heart beat pounds in my soul
You have lost me, and I can't find you
The mist in a fog - the trees in the forest
All things are clear to you, but combine the two and I'm mystified.
I am blind, leading the blind.
Come into control and come out of the pastime
It won't take away your pain, but it's a start in the right direction
Follow the stars in the sky - they shine for you.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Quiet Mornings

I look through this sapphire stained glass, and I see myself.
This is the art of life.
Take my hand, and walk with me through this silent residence.
Watch the fire rise up in the distant skies below the heavens
The dark ones, who seek us in a vengeance - fail again.
An insurmountable amount of silence rests in me.
I am composed, and in discussion.
Galaxies of wonder organize in my thought.
My knees start to give
I am drowsy, and weak in character
Those mystified eyes fixed on me.
Sip upon the coffee, and become one with me.
And embark upon the issues of life before we go about our day.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

A Lapse in Time

I am caught in a lapse in time,
Going to and where, I know not
A dime a dozen
Like the old re-runs of Taxi
There's tranquility in my soul as I see the cat lying down
Staring up in a way only he knows
The rain is outside falling
Bringing life to once lifeless objects
Silence rests on everything but the window
Where you can hear the rain gently tapping,
Opening the door I feel the wind rush in
Bringing cool weather and a slight chill
I can only walk outside in the middle of nothing
And just stand
I let the rain soak me and cleanse my body,
Soaked and filled with happiness
I start to drift away, until I can no longer tell day from night.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Give up

I can't look in the mirror.
Do you see what I see?
I want to look further into myself
Look into these eyes.
Come and see my point of view of everything
You don't know what I know
You haven't seen what I've seen.
Am I destroying myself?
Or just preparing myself for the truth
Either way I want to move past it,
But is there a way?
Where there's a will there's a way
Well that's what they say,
Is it time to give up?
To just give in?
Let everything everyone said be true.
You know it is anyway right?
I need a way out because I'm trapped
I'm in a black box, not able to get out.
The future is coming, people don't understand
I look forward to it each day.
The glassy look in my eyes will break
The flame in the back of my eyes is coming brighter each day.
Each day I try to change
Everyday I fail.
I can't give up, that's not like me.
People think it is, but they don't know me.
Annoying is what it gets
To read the same things over and over
Just different phrases
It will all change soon.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Monday, August 01, 2005

The Motions

I have no life.
I try to get out of this rut
Fallen
Like a car spinning with its wheels in mud
It is no use,
I need a push from behind.
Am I living?
No true emotion
No feeling
I'm numb
Don't get mad at me
I only seek to tell the truth
Do you understand what its like?
To look for love in loveless issues.
I seek for things that were never
I am a dreamer,
I think, therefore I am.
No longer waking up wanting to go on
Waking up just to go through the motions.
I write people
Looking for a reply, so they can acknowledge me
Then maybe I can have a new friend.
Then maybe ill be someone in the eyes of others
Maybe not - I'm looking for myself
A purpose - a meaning
That's all I'm searching for.
Life is a like a grandfather clock and through all the years it works,
Yet when it brakes down you don't just leave it.
You fix it, and it continues
But I am not a repairman.
And my seconds are wearing thin

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002