Sunday, June 05, 2005

My dream

How can you be sad and happy all in the same moment?
It started off as a regular plane flight, You should know that I have no fear of flying.
We were taking off from an east coast city. Somewhere like Boston or NYC.
We started to take off, after taxing with the air controller.
My whole family whole family was on this flight.
Oddly enough so were some of my classmates.
Everyone on the plane is calm as we being to prepare to take off.
Everything is going "normal".
This was one of the hardest airports to take off from,
We started to move, and I could feel the plane jerk ahead,
We rolled on gaining momentum.
About the time we were going to take off I noticed that we didn't have a lot of speed.
Somehow I figured that something would go wrong.
Picture yourself having a bad dream and knowing something bad is going to happen,
But still you can't do anything about it you're helpless,
Ask yourself even if you could do something who would believe you?
I was for the most part - holding my breath hoping everything would be fine.
It was smooth sailing as we prepare to lift but it's just that feeling that wouldn't go away.
We got the nose of the aircraft up and after a few seconds the tail came up.
I could see almost everything moving in slow motion.
I was scared for my life, and wanted out of the aircraft.
I have never felt like this before.
It would be the perfect time to die.
I have just gotten back from doing something I really enjoyed,
And we were leaving on the airplane just as the sun was setting.
Picture yourself in an aircraft.
Do you know the feeling where your stomach feels like it can come up?
But then the plane drops down suddenly and it all normal?
I had that feeling the whole time, and it wouldn't leave.
We were barely in the air, and then began loosing altitude.
There was water up a head, if we were lucky we would hit it.
If not then we would end up slamming into a concrete wall.
The freeway was also up head, right before the water.
The pilot did everything in his power to keep us up.
We dodged the cement highway overpass we ducked under it.
Now everybody knew that this plane was out of control and nobody could stop it.
It was like every single person in the plane knew just as much as I did.
We were going to crash.
It was dead silent, all you could hear were the airplane's engines giving up,
Everyone was looking out the window, and the plane began to sway,
The bulk of the passengers on this flight, were in the front - so the pilot tried to turn the plane away from the now increasingly bigger wall.
Although I was in the plane at the time
I could imagine what it looked like crashing into the wall.
I could see it play back over and over in my head.
The plane was almost turned 300 degrees from where it was before,
The pilot turned it cleverly when the plane stalled a few seconds,
Just enough time for the pilot to get the position he wanted with the plane.
That way the bulk of the hit would be towards the back saving most of the passengers.
In theory it would have worked.
Not everybody died a lot of people I knew did.
Once the plane hit I blacked out,
I can only remember going thought the airport lobby, where all the other survivors were.
There I saw a great friend of mine not shaken not stirred.
I was so surprised to see my old best friend and I went over to talk.
I don't know why but the actions of my friend were very amusing
He saw me, and didn't acknowledge me.
Instead was talking to all of his friends like nothing was wrong.
I went up to him and asked if he was on this flight?
And if he knew that a plane had crashed and in fact that it was mine.
He replied calmly and very coldly that he was also on the flight.
And had known what had happened.
Astonished I asked if he was ok,
I wondered why he was even flying - have it by chance have it on the same flight as me.
I never got an answer.
He just ignored me and kept talking to his friends.
Looking back at that day,
I realize that the reason I was happy and sad was because
I still had my life and was living - I also knew how close to death I really was.
Sad because I lost my family and everything else I took for granted.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2001

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