My own

My own personal Hell,
One which I can make worse,
I dwell on things,
think of things past,
and think of a lonely future.
Is this my own hell?
I feel no love,
More hate from all,
I feel no control on anything.
Who can stop this?
Go to bed just to think of what another retched day brings.
Can someone stop this?
Why do I feel this way?
Why do others annoy me so easily?
Why do I want things I cannot have?
This is my life,
This is my story.
It is like a hole burning in my flesh.
It annoys me
It hurts me,
It is me.
Who can I turn too?
My self?
I have no clue what things are real in my life,
What things will last?
What people will last,
Where do I stand?
Who cares ? - nobody
I'm in my own personal Hell

Poem by J.A.D. © 2000