Bleeding Thoughts

My bleeding thoughts,
They surround me
And circle up like an angry crowd
How can it be?

Here I sit - basking in the grace of God
And those round me cannot feel what I feel
How is it fair?

I want to be everything you want me to be
So I sit and write on this strained paper
As I try to stop the bleeding of my thoughts.

Here I am.. Once again
Sitting at the feet of my father.
And I stare into the deep dark sky
Which peers further back into me
My heartbeat grows faint, and I slip
Hands not quite grasping reality.
Mind not quite grasping this effect you have on life.

Why do I fix what isn’t broken?
I can see the glow far from here,
And the way you are molding me.
But my mind tells me
What I don’t control - really isn’t mine...
So how do I control my life?

Every breath I take makes me know
You are watching my every move.
Day by day to you I belong
Your majesty - the title only fit for a king
So is this the end of the road?
I am desperate for you... fill me up!
So these moments of the divine will not go untold
Your word speaks to me, heals me, frustrates me
It makes me better
Thank you for your wisdom
Praise Adonai!

Poem by J.A.D. © 2006