Victorian's Grace

There's a feeling in my soul that I can't ignore,
Like someone standing at my door,
Voices call me to come
And I leave to see what I can do.
The sight of this lover's game breaks your heart.
So I am to crumble at the sound of your voice.
Take my breath away,
And let us dance the night away
As we listen to Victorian's romances
We are miles away from reality
In this world there are two people, you and I.
Our feelings for each other shall be never ending.
It is a stand off of love.
And who will win this heartfelt match?
We can only tell if we relax and listen to the sounds.
So turn down the music, and ill listen to your angelic grace
Whisper into my ear as we dance the night away.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Through the fire

I'm doused with gasoline
And the fire's burning strong
My voice is faded
Through the fire, my life is on the wire.
The flames are burning hot
But I am still standing.
You look for control, but it's out of reach.
Now I stand strong.
Through the fire, you can only make out my eyes,
Burning into your memory.
My voice stands strong,
I have made it through
And you can feel me radiate
I am soaring higher than what the flames once burned.
Do not run
Do not shy away,
Because you have only begun to see
What I am capable of doing.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Just As Good

A male having the same parents as another
Or one parent in common with another.
Commonly known as a brother.
You were my antidote to slitting the wrists,
We all know that I wouldn't do that
But when times got hard
And the family was put on the line
You would come through for me.
The things you have went through with me,
The times we have spent, cannot be taken away.
Take anything we have done, and we can laugh about it now
We related more than can be descried.
Through thick and thin, I could turn to you.
You never turned on me, and we had our moments
But after all of it I can say
I trust you with my life
You don't come along every few years
A true friend like you, someone can only find but once in their life.
You sly dog you, you are even warm hearted
And care for others.
I am not quite sure how we got to start talking,
But the things we have been through nothing can compare to.
A brother is a person of blood -
Who has a good relationship with siblings, - in theory of course.
So even though you aren't a blood brother,
You are a friend, and a real brother to me.
You can't pick your family, and your friends pick you.
Thanks for being you bro.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Endless

You are like a firefly
Hard to catch - beautiful, and interesting.
I feel like I am running after you
But you always seem to slip through my fingers.
I had you once, and let you get away
But I will always be here for you
Waiting for you to call
Waiting for you to answer
I am here as a friend or as a lover.
But I cannot wait around forever
Even if it seems that's what I'm doing
You are really special to me.
I can talk to you once a month and still desire to be with you.
Distance is not the problem.
I am staring blankly at endless shadow of black
With nothing coming to turn my head
I love you
My first love, and deepest.
And now is not the time, but I still want to be with you
Time should change everything.
You have places I would like to explore but never will.
And you are so deep, sometimes you appear shallow.
When your back is against the wall
And the walls come crashing down on you
I will pick up the pieces.
Call on me for anything.
Just call
I will be waiting for you,
But how long will be too long?

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Butterfinger BB's

Everything is black and white
Until I talk to you.
You bring so much color,
Without even trying
You have a spirit about you that I could keep forever
I wish that I were with you
So I could treat you right
And give you everything you need.
I could show you so many things,
And you could help me in so many ways.
I look forward to talking with you
Even if we don't have huge conversations
I am still here for you.
I want to get to know you better
For you are one of the sweetest people I know.
One day we hopefully will have our day.
Until then I will just talk to you as a friend,
And think of you as a friend
Thank you for being you.
You have nothing to hide and nothing to prove
If everyone was as thoughtful as you,
The world would be a better place.
If anything I could do for you,
It would be to make you happy - And make you smile or laugh.
Make your day a little bit brighter
Or just make your life seem a little bit easier.
If I have hope, everyone does.
Thank you
Without you, where would I be?

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Not the same idea

You are a great friend
Thank you for being there to talk to.
I have complained to you thousands of times over,
And sometimes I would stop you,
But you wouldn't stop me.
You bug me as much as a little sister,
And sometimes are as bratty as one
If I had a sister I would want her to be like you.
I have made some mistakes with you.
Actions that I took were for you, not me.
I gave you a night, with only me.
You took it for more than it was
Wanting me since we have known each other
I felt it was only right to let you have me a night.
I wanted you to finally be happy, for once in your life.
You can call it heartless or just stupid, it probably was.
Out of pity, sorrow, or maybe I was just depressed.
I am sorry.
And from the bottom of my heart,
I know it will hurt you, and being a guy - we do those things.
We make stupid decisions - but you girls have your share of them.
We will not be seeing each other for a long time now.
But I wanted to let you know that we can be friends,
For now, or - until the end of time.
I wanted to clear this up with you,
But let you know you will always be in my memory and thoughts
If it is blazer gear, or just a phrase that catches my attention
I know I won't forget you.
Kept in quiet, for a few weeks - everything is out.
You know who you are - and your friends do too.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Against the waves

I can see it
Who knows what it is
I have reached for it and missed
I don't know where I am.
But I can see through you
Smelling the crisp air, the magic of life enters me
Leaving me numb
And I am not talking - all is silent
Walking along - crushing dead grass.
I am quite the conversation piece aren't I?
Give me the past - so I can hold the future and mold it
Don't you see the fog is covering me?
The sun is rising up and I can see it glow
The water is as clear as glass,
And it makes me wonder if its even there
I jump in - now freezing.
Trying to swim back to shore but only brought further out
Am I supposed to go with the waves?
Panic overtakes me
Taking strokes back I push and try harder to fight against them,
But it is impractical
They overcome me and I'm trapped - breathless.
Spotting my little boat, I swim with the winds towards it.
Am I alone?
You are near me, surrounding me.
I can hear your voice - and your promise.
Take me now - and I can be with you forever.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Fogged eyes

"Ma, Kathy's on the phone..."
"My Kathy?"
My heart sank at the sound of the words.
She remembered me.
Loosing her mind
Loosing her memory
But still remembering one's important to her.
Calling to hear you talk
Calling to hear you.
I love you
I hate everyday that will be without you
Stay with me
Talk to me
"Are you coming over?"
"Sure thing mom - ill be right over"
Tears fill my eyes
She can't remember were thousands of miles away.
Please don't give up
Stay strong.
-- She mumbles.
Now holding back crying
Let her know that I must go
She tells me she loves me
And I let loose, tears streaming.
As I try to cope without you -
You shall always live on in our hearts --
And all the times - the memories - we have shared might fade...
But now you're happy
Reunited with dad,
And rejoicing with the Lord.
God bless you - rest in peace
We all love you

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002
Dedicated to Rose Blais (my grandmother)

Righteous anger

Death isn't supposed to be remembed this way
Why do you make things turn out like this?
We were supposed to be family Bobby!
What the heck are you thinking???
She's my mother's mom too -
Adopted or not - she has a right to be there
Who are you to think she loved you more?
Who are you to even think that?
Get it over with quick... right?
Less than 48 hours...
That's speed.
So you tell us at 2 the day after
Plans made - set in stone.
You couldn't even call up and tell us yourself
Coward.
You two faced hypocrite.
And expect us to be there 20 hours later?
What's wrong with you?
You're sick
I want to call you and chew you a new hole
What's wrong with you?
Go shove something up your - wait
You might get some joy out of it.
Call him - yell
Answering machine again.
I swear - for your sake
I hope I never see you again.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

This Little Child

He had big eyes and great hopes
Wishing only the best to the world
Even his bleak way of living didn't dim his light
As his mother was an alcoholic - and father too
They were often in yelling matches towards each other
But not him - he would stay locked in his room
His own place where nobody could touch him.
He went through life thinking he was a failure
Finally making a stand at the last moment
For something he believed in
He was stabbed in the heart
Piercing every thing he had to live for,
His parents wept, and everyone was in great awe
On how much this little child
Meant to everyone

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Shockwaves

These are the shockwaves from the world
Coming down from all corners of the falls
Only to hear cries
These are the sounds of the damned
And they are our future
Shockwaves
Have impact on my life
But can cross over me like a bridge
Shockwaves
The waves in the pond,
Effecting everyone in a domino effect
Yet no two people are affected the same way
Why is this so?
These shockwaves
Like the lines in an old mans happy face
The fragile bones -
His raspy voice is but a
Whisper...

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Watch your step

Step lightly for the weather is warm - but the frost is fresh
Step lightly for everything you know,
Is surreal
Massive blocks of ice crumble around you
As your confidence in the world deteriorates
Everything you once held true to you - is false
You once were dancing on water
But now you're engraving every step into the ice
With a trail of heat
The sky is red, and the ice is cracked
And every place you touch - seems to fall apart
This is reality.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

eXtreem

Sweat of passion drips down my face
These are eXtreem days
With everything that comes from this
You can't help but feeling like screaming
These are eXtreem times.
Times of trial and tribulation come upon us
And hardships are what everyone has
My palms are cold - but forehead hot.
I am the captain of my soul
And therefore I cannot control my voyage through life.
Talk to me through the symphonies of life.
Come downstairs with me,
Drink pools of coffee with me
Sit by the fire -
Lets talk life, lets talk love.
I'll be sure to never forget you
Sit by the fire and look into my eyes,
Life may take me thousands of miles away,
But I'll always be here with you.
The x on your chest, that's
The spot im closest too
Come with me on my voyage of life wherever it may take me
Don't let go -
Everybody needs to know how much they're loved.
I promise ill let you know.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Improve

You salvage and slave trying to make this thing of beauty
Everything is done with intent to make it better
You shake the tree and watch the ambitious workers fall
Shake a branch and take some leaves
This sea of glass... breakable is the moment it crumbles.
For you cannot comprehend breaking new boundaries.
But I am drunk with power
Take a sip with me and let me go on my way
I speak to the dead in a silence of shame
For I know not what I did wrong.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Car driving through a wall

My life flashed before these eyes
Everything being blurred - my birth and death
My friends are crying - but I can't comfort them
My seatbelt failed and my face crumbled upon the airbag
I feel cold and damp, but I am gliding through the air
I can see everyone; look I'm right here.. Talk to me.
I smashed through a brick wall with a car
Thinking only about what death would be like
Being so selfish to not think about how it would put a strain on others
Not emotionally but financially.
Killing myself instantly i've done it the best way.
I have went thru the motions
I have sized up belts, but they kept me alive
I had tried cutting myself - but couldn't bring myself to do it
The only logical solution was to use my access.
The car.
I had it all planned out, everything goes fine
I say my final goodbyes and nobody knows the difference.
Why should they care now?
Because they're supposed to
Not because they want too,
Not because they care.
Point blank - that's the answer.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002

Addition

Pour my soul into your hands
See the fairy dust run off into the clouds
Sparkling water - and some dirty water
Take me and purify me
Make me yours
For I am not worthy
You hold the water with great concentration
Making sure not to spill a drop
Now add in something of your own
And put me in to the stream of life

Poem by J.A.D. © 2002